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I Will Always Remember Today.

As he kiss my fingertips,my lips are sealed. And as he spoke those three letter words,I just couldn’t help but smile. O Allah,if we are meant for each other,show us the sign. I can’t bear to see him sad. I can’t bear to see us being stuck in a situation that will tear us apart in the end. I would want him to be my imam in the future,but everything is God’s hands. I will just pray for the best,insya Allah. :(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Cause When A Heart Breaks,It Won't Break Even.

Why can't I stop thinking about you?
Do you know how hurt it is,to sleep with your face in my mind?
To wake up,and suddenly think of you?
Even while I was doing my prayer,I cried because I was missing you.
Dear God,forgive me for not concentrating well during the prayer.
His presence is killing me slowly.
I've tried to stay strong,but I brokedown in the end.
Close friends told me to move on,but it's easier to be said than done.
Because I'm the one who sticks to one and one only.
Dear Lord,guide me to your path.
I'm tired being the weaker one.
I'm tired being the hopelessly romantic person.
:'(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

O Allah,

Patience & sincerity,that is what Islam has been teaching us.
This two words must work together in order for us to be a better person.
And,this is what I've been trying to gain.
I'm sure,if I accept Allah's decisions with sincerity,I can go through life without worries. Insya Allah.

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Wounded.

“Oh my heart,
don’t become discouraged so easily.
Have faith.
In the hidden world, there are many mysteries,
many wonders.
Even if the whole planet threatens your life,
don’t let go of the Beloved’s robe
for even a breath.”

Life. It gives us happiness,love,pain,hatred and so on.
Sometimes,this life can bring joy to our hearts,where else it can also messed up our mind.
And the part which destroy the heart is love.
Love,it can be beautiful but at times,it can stab straight to your heart.
You want to fall in love,but you're just scared.
Yes,that's me. I'm scared to fall in love once again.
I'm scared the ending might be the same again.
Broken hearted and walk away.
My feelings for him are still the same. No doubt about it.
We poured our feelings yesterday but it went chaos.
Maybe...maybe it's my fault. I'm the one who told him to be patient.
It's not that I don't want us back together.
It's just...sigh. It's hard to explain.
I've always prayed that he will be my future husband,be my imam and guide me through our Islamic rituals.
I've always dreamed about that. Even crying about it.
He doesn't know it. Because,he will never understand how much I need him.
For the sake of Allah,I love him.
Why? Because,I know,behind that grumpy attitude of his,I know Allah has created a gentle human being. It's just he needs the right guidance.
That's why I never fail to advise him eventhough he doesn't believe in motivational words.
Sigh. Only Allah knows how I really feel for you,Tan Siang Chuan.

"Tuhan,tolong nyatakan lah,pada nya tentang cinta,
Adakah masih diriku diperlukan?"
:'(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

A Puppet In Your Life.

I cried while doing my Isha' prayer just now.
I don't know why.
Maybe there are so many things jammed up in this tiny head.
Sometimes,I feel like running away,and be somewhere alone.
This feeling still doesn't change eventhough it's already new year.
I still feel the "rejection",awkwardness and so much more.
There are so many negativity aura that surrounds me.
At times,I do feel like I've been treated like a puppet.
Because why? When I'm needed,they will come to me. If not,they will push me away and saying words that are far too hurtful for my ears.
Life isn't perfect right? So,I just have to bear with it.
Oh dear. I need a hug badly.
:(

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.