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Hajar is the name.
A MuslimI am,and proud of it.
I choose not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
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I don't believe in karma but I believe in Qada & Qadar.
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Quran 57:20
I'm tired of all this.
I'm tired of all this "socialism",as so they call it.
Because the more I'm involve in it,the more hurt I feel.
I prefer to be my old self.
An anti-social but be with that one true friend,who will always be there for you.
And she has been that friend until now. I'm thankful about it.
But as I grew older,of course we need to socialize and meet new friends.
Slowly,I regretted that feeling.
I've been trying my best to be a good friend.
Of course,I'm still a human,I make mistakes.
Sadly,I'm getting more and more bad karma from it.
As a Muslim,we mustn't believe in "karma" but rather in Qada & Qadar that God has set upon us.
Maybe,this is my destiny.
To get through alot of people,in order to learn myself.
But...it's tiring.
They can hurt me but why can't they be hurt?
Just yesterday,there was someone said that eventhough how much that person hurts me,I will still end up show my love for them.
To be honest,I did that because I'm scared of losing that person.
I don't want to lose another friend.
Because along the way,I've been losing alot.
I guess,my sympathy have to stop.
I want to learn to be numb.
Stop being me but act like a robot,giving everybody the same sense of reaction.
Yeah,why not huh?
Let me lift up my ego to see how this goes.
Only my Creator knows.

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Posted on: Saturday, December 10, 2011
Posted at: 11:23 PM