Servant of Allah(swt).♥

Rocket.

A blog with full of nonsense.(:

Deeper Conversation.

Escape.

archives

credits

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon.

Why Is It So?

Yesterday,I went to meet up with an old school mate for awhile.
He told me he was at the A&E,not feeling well.
So,after I've finished my work,I went down to see him for awhile.
He got shocked when he saw me though.
While there was a pause in our chat,suddenly he asked,"Erm,why the sudden change? Why did you wear the tudung?'.
For the people who don't know what "tudung" means,it's hijab.
All I could reply is,"Errrr. It's quite hard to explain though," then I laughed.

Many people has asked me the same question.
"Why?" "You're still young,there's no need to wear" "You sound so weird with all these religion talking"
That's the stereotype I've been getting by the society.
Okay,to all the people who wondered why? Here's my story.
As you people know,I used to be somesort a rocker last time.
I love black clothings,eyeliners,dark eyeshadows,dark music and so on.
I hated colours and I was a negative thinker.
But throughout the years that I've gone through,suddenly I grew tired of the same old remedy.
I wanna explore something more than just sadness.
My mum started sending me to the religion class to learn how to read the Qur'an.
I was starting to get interested with what I'm learning as I've not been that religious.
So,that was part 1.

When me and my bestfriend,started to open an account for our new blog,Tumblr,that's when my life has changed.
I followed and reblog many things about Islam. It was such an eye opener.
Then there's this part I started to read about hijab.
It stated that,"Don't let the day that you've die,will be the day you'll wear your hijab".
I was stunned. All I did,was just kept quiet.
I mean,it really strikes the heart though.
Not only Tumblr helped me,listening to songs from Maher Zain,really wakes me up.
Especially the song,"Thank You Allah",it gives that calmness to my soul.
I brokedown. Because I know,I've been such a sinner in my life.

So,that night,(I forgot which date),I put on the scarf on my head.
I've never felt more beautiful.
And when I looked into mirror,tears are rolling down from my tired eyes.
I was so in love in Allah's grace and blessings.
Positivity runs in this veins and I'm smiling even more.
To all earthlings out there,someday,you will feel what I felt.
The feeling of "belong" is very hard to find.
Now that you have read my story,I hope you will understand why i put it on.
(:

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

The Story of a Former Christian Youth Minister.

I'm all alone at home and it's quite lonely.
My parents are working,my brother is at his camp,then here I am,stuck with the laptop.
Anyway,like the usual,I always update Tumblr,which is my 2nd blog.
And,I came across this photo.
I was quite mesmerized by his words,so I went to check it out on YouTube.
You know what? It's worth it.
It's about his conversion story on being from a Christian to Islam.
His journey was amazing.
As he say his shahadah,I was totally blown away. Subhanallah.
He's an inspiration to every Muslim.
The more he talked,the more embarrassed I am,because I don't know my religion that much.
But,I'm trying my best to start it over though.
To every Muslim,watch this.
You'll be amazed by what you have missed out in life.
I actually cried when I watched the ending of his talk.
Go to YouTube,type "Joshua Evans" and there you go.
He's a great Muslim brother we should take example on.
(':

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

What Can I Say.

I know where I stand.
I know I wasn't good enough for you.
But when i saw that comment,it really hurts within.
I've been judged/criticize enough since young,and I don't need it anymore.
My girl friend told me not to think about it,but I did.
I was devastated. I broke down.
I guess what they commented is true.
I'm not worth of anyone's tears. Not at all.
That's why I acted like I don't care but eventually I do.
I sacrifice my own sadness just to see you stand up again.
I'm glad to know that you have the best people in your life.
Sigh.
Allah knows best.

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Someone Like You.

Salam. (:
Sorry for not been updating that much lately,been not well recently.
Anyway,I'm recovering now,so hopefully I can make it through this week.
So,how have I been? Alhamdulilah,good.
Work was abit hectic,but luckily,I have awesome girlfriends to make me smile.
Not only that,some of my patients have also been great and has been giving me alot of praises.
Syukran ya Allah. (:
My weekend? It was stress relieving.
Saturday,I went to meet up with an old friend,a brother in faith,to join him in a photography journey.
It was great. I was jealous of his camera though. I need Canon! Hehs.
Anyway,he teaches me with some skills,and now,I get the hang of it.
After walking around the esplanade area,we then hangout at Marina Bay Sands. It was beautiful and breath taking.
But,both of us had to leave early,due to my curfew and he have to picked up his girlfriend from work.
Nevertheless,I enjoyed it. I wanna go there again and feel the breeze,anybody up for it? ^^
Yesterday,I went to the movies with my siblings and brother in law.
It's been a long time since I last saw them.
We watched "Reel Steel",which brought me to tears non-stop. Hahs.
But,it was fun to hang around with your siblings once in a while.
You will feel the love. (:
Thank you Allah,for the nice weekend.

*********

As I open the box of my watch yesterday,I don't know why,suddenly my fingers grab upon the letter that he gave me.
And when I read it,it always put a smile on my face.
His handwriting,those words that he wished me on my birthday...memories keep coming back.
But to stop myself from crying,I kept it back inside.
It hurts once more.
I guess what they say about people who are born in the month of June,is true,"Always broods about the past & old friends".
Yes,sadly,that is me.
Well,I guess I just hide those feelings inside me and let Allah cure it.
I'm glad he's doing well now.
(:

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Random.

Today,my colleague said that,I need to take some medicine.
She told me,my eye bags are getting worse and I look drenched.
All I can do is smile.

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

He Will Always Be There.

I will always try to put this phrase in my head.
Everytime.
But sometimes,I tend to forget about it.
I get lost in darkness so much,that I forgot,my Creator is always there to listen my bragging moments.
I had a great chat with a friend today.
Honestly,when I give her my advices,I tend to grew the confidence in myself.
When she said,"Oh my God,it's like you're the only who totally understands me",all I can do is smile.
Masya Allah,such words. Maybe this is Allah's answers to me,yes?
I need to change. I have to.
Grudges,anger,always wrap around this empty heart.
I need to learn to stay calm and let Allah do the rest.
I must remember,in His eyes,I'm a beautiful creation.
Or maybe,my workplace is the one,who change me into a dumbass person.
Sigh.
Hopefully,I will get to go to the right pathway.

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Help Please?

How can I download Photoshop?
How to use Torrent?
Somebody help me.
-.-"

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

If Only You Would Understand.

Aku tidak sehebat Khadijah yang amat Rasulullah sayangi, aku tidak setabah Rabiatul Adawiyah yang begitu setia dalam sengsara demi meraih cintaMu, aku juga tidak sesolehah Fatimah, penghulu bidadari syurga.. juga aku tidak sekuat Sumaiyyah dan Asiah, jauh sekali seperti Hajar dan Sarah..
(via:Tumblr)

Ya Allah,sebenarnya,aku sungguh penat dengan perjalanan hidup ku ini.
Aku tahu,aku sepatutnya merasa bersyukur dengan apa yang telah Kau berikan.
Tetapi,apa yang tersirat di dalam hati ini,masih ada kelukaan yang belum menghilang.
Ya Rabb,aku tidak tahu mengapa aku masih rasa lemah untuk menghadapi segala cabaran yang aku lalui.
Setiap malam,aku menangis di dalam kegelapan.
Menangis mencari jawapan.
Menangis mencari pengertian.
Ya Rahman,tolong lah kuatkan hatiku ini.
Engkau sahaja lah yang memahami hasrat hati yang kecil ini.
Tuhan,bawak lah aku ke jalan yang benar.
Ampunkan segala dosa dosaku.
Ampunkan lah aku.....

:'(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

I Walk Alone. I Walk Alone.

Walking alone at the mall or at a park,has been a habit for me lately.
I like it actually.
Yes,it can be quite lonely and all,but hey,it isn't that bad.
It kinda distracts you from your problems by window shopping (well,for me that is).
Especially at the park,I feel much more calmer there.
Recently,I went to the park at my old secondary school area.
It was very nice to be there.
But suddenly,these tears roll down from these tired eyes.
Been having alot of thoughts in this tiny little brain of mine.
After a while,I felt better.
Because as I passed by those trees,and looked at the clouds,I know I'm not alone.
Allah is with me.
So,that is why I love walking alone.
I realized that,no matter how big your problems are,Allah will always there to guide to You.
Subhanallah.
(':

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Lovey Dovey.

Friendship.
Eventhough how many arguments you guys went through,they will still be right there with you.
Yes,they say family is the main thing in our lives,but without friends,to be honest you can't survive.
Just like within a family,we may argue alot because of our different backgrounds.
But,no matter what,we may find ourselves in their arms again.
So,don't say that you don't need friend. You do.
Because,they are a blessing from the Lord too. (:

~END~