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Allahu Akbar.

Salam. (:
How are you earthlings?
I've been fine so far,alhamdulilah. Well,I can't deny that I had my breakdown moments but I tried to stay out of it.
How was my Ramadhan? I've tried to be the best. (:
To be honest,I didn't do much ibadah. I didn't went to do terawih either. :(
But..my love for Quran was suddenly building up in me.
I started to read it once in awhile and masya Allah,I felt so calm.
Nevertheless,I should have done better.
Well,hopefully,I will get to meet next year's Ramadhan. Insya Allah.

Okay,I'm supposed to type about this yesterday. But was too tired. Hehe.
So,this part is all about me and him. (:
Alhamdulilah,yesterday,we have reached our 4 years anniversary.
Unbelievable,yes? I know.
We have gone through so much,we even had a break up once,but still,we manage to keep this relationship strong.
I hope and pray,may God accept and bless this relationship.
Wo ai nie. (:

Ramadhan has ended,and now Syawal has taken over.
Thanks to His blessings,we are still standing here to celebrate the moment.
Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Dan Batin.
<3

~END~

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

He Woke Me Up.

I went to read one of my friend's status on facebook.
And he's talking about his friend has already moved to a new "home".
Not that,his friend has run away but..he passed away.
Innalillahi wainnailaihi rojiun......
Eventhough,I don't know who is he,but as a Muslim,I shared a sad feeling.
He's taken so young,and to leave the world during this holy month,masya Allah,it's so tragic.
I even went to his facebook,to check out what type of person is he when he was alive.
They pour out their emotions,their feelings for having to lost such a great friend.
Sigh.
This is such an eye opener for me.
Allah can snatch away my life anytime,so,I must learn not to complain how bad my life is.
Allah is great.
Insya Allah,this boy will be in our prayers.
Hopefully,his soul will rest in peace in Jannah(Paradise).
Allah will now look after you dear Muslim brother.
(':

xoxo

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Loss.

Why is it so hard to achieve my dreams?
Why is it so hard to be who I want?
So many challenges I have to face,so many things I have to deal with.
Financial,time,work,all mixed into one.
I'm tired of thinking about. No,exhausted is the right term.
And I'm losing faith in myself.
O Allah,I know,I'll be a sinner if I'm not thankful with what you've given me.
But...I need answers.
Sometimes,I just wish I could see the future,to see where I am.
Please guide me dear Lord.
I need you.
:'(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

What If.

There are those days where you'll get tired of your adult life and you feel like you wanna be a kid again.
You're tired of worrying,crying,pleading,mourning for a better life.
But when you're a kid,the only thing that you are worried about are broken colour pencils,spelling errors,and those little bruises on your hand.
As you grow older,financial,responsibilities,relationships,started to overtake you.
You have to be a strong individual to face it all.
Yes,there will be people in your life that will guide you,help you,to make you smile.
But how long can these things last? If God were to take them away from you,you can't turn back time.
This is what I'm facing now. A dilemma about my life.
Which one is the right path and which one will lead me to a better self.
I'm not all emo about it,because there are other humans who's having more difficulties than me.
Nevertheless,I still breakdown thinking about it at times.
There are so many "What If 's" in my head that I could blow up.
That's why,sometimes,I acted like a small kid because it makes me feel better.
It makes me unbreakable.
Yet,somehow,I still have to face the truth.
I'm an adult and I need to have that positive mindset.
Like my mother always said,
"Nevermind you're having difficulties now,someday,your had work will be paid off and everything will be worth it".
Insya Allah,I hope so.
With the guidance of Allah SWT,I'm sure I will make it.
(:

xoxo

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

Dear Whoever.

I miss his smile.
I miss his laugh.
I miss him poking me during our jokes.
I miss him kissing my cheek when I'm in a daze.
I miss him hugging me tightly in his arms.
I miss him holding my hand tightly when we are sitting together inside the bus.
I miss lying down on his shoulder.
I miss him lying down on my lap.
I miss his presence.
I just miss him. :'(

xoxo

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.

O Allah.

I only feel calm in Allah's presence but after that,insecurities will occur.
The world revolves around me so fast that I couldn't think straight at times.
All the pain,anger,agony,mixed into one.
But I try to stay positive as I know there are other people who is living far more worst than me.
Ramadan,so far,alhamdulilah,has been good.
But still,as a muslimah,I haven't done enough.
I rarely read the Qur'an and I keep having doubts.
Sigh.
Maybe I was thinking too much.
I always let jealousy and unhappiness kill me.
O Allah,I'm tired actually to be feeling this way,but I'm sure one day,You will guide me again.

Kurniakan lah cahayaMu kepadaku Ya Allah.
:'(

Labels: A Beautiful Mess.