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Random Awesome.
Hajar is the name. A MuslimI am,and proud of it. I choose not to deny my humanity but embrace it. I'm weird but approachable. I don't believe in karma but I believe in Qada & Qadar. ♥A nurse,who will always try to satisfy the hearts of her patients. |
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Rocket.
A blog with full of nonsense.(: Deeper Conversation.
Escape.
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RIP:James Owen Sullivan(The Rev.)..
 I know I said that I wanted to be away for the moment.. But this is one hell of a shocking news.. The drummer from A7x has passed away yesterday.. I nearly cried when I got to know about it.. An article I get from tmrzoo.com: Avenged Sevenfold drummer James Owen Sullivan, also known by his stage name ” The Reverend Tholomew Plague” or simply “The Rev” was found dead in his Huntington Beach home yesterday on December 28 at approximately 1 p.m. The talented drummer was 28 years old. Sullivan was a huge Pantera fan, another band with a tragic early death. Jimmy also played many different instruments other than the drums, such as the piano and guitar. His death is being investigated by The Orange County Coroner’s Office but at this time the Southern California musician is thought to have died of natural causes. The metal community and many blog are speculating the death was an overdose. Sullivan was rumored to have history with drugs.No statement has been made yet from Avenged Sevenfold or the Management of A7x in regards to this tragic loss. .How tragic it is to lose such a talented person like him.. RIP big guy.. You'll never be forgotten... Your fans will always miss ya.. ~END~ Labels: She's Lost Inside.. Desperate,I'm Calling Out Your Name..
This song is dedicated to the people I've hurt especially my dearest bestfriend.. Zee.. I know I've not been a very good friend to u recently.. U keep asking me to hangout with u,but I gave u 101 reasons.. I'm not making up those reasons.. It's just that I've too many problems to settle.. I really miss hanging out with u.. I do.. But sometimes situations won't let me spend time with u.. But let me tell u this,I still care for u like I did during our five years of friendship during secondary school.. I've lose many friends and I had enough of it.. But I don't want to lose ur friendship.. Guilty feelings has been taking over me.. If ure mad at me,I'd understand.. Nevertheless,I hope I won't lose a friend/sister.. Because if that happens,I won't forgive myself.. I'm sorry zee.. I really am...... :'( PS:I think I'll go missing for a moment people.. I've been feeling down again and I need to be away.. I'm sorry if I've hurt anybody in anyway... Till then,goodbye.... ~END~
Labels: She's Lost Inside.. Sobering Up.
  Hey ya'll...I've been missing quite awhile from my previous post.. Need my time for the last few days.. But I'm all sober up now. :) Hopefully,it stays this way.. Anyway,yesterday,I get to my Bf! Gosh! I was so freaking happy! Been waiting for a month,and yesterday,at last,we get to meet each other.. I woke up around 0915am because I've to meet him at ang mo kio to upload my bro's game..darn.. It was raining so heavily in the morning and I nearly freezed myself for sitting too long in the bus.. =X I arrived at the interchange and waited for him.. And there he was,I nearly melt when I saw him..hahaha.. What? It's not like always I get to see him okay.. So,off we went to the game store,and guess what? The shop is closed. Nice one... Bf then started to laugh,and then he said to me,"Oh no..too bad.." We turned back and went to hangout at ang mo kio for awhile.. Snuggling is his arms is the best thing ever.. We chatted,played around with a cat,and enjoyed the cold wind.. After awhile,Bf wanted to go bedok to buy his bike parts.. (FYI:He doesn't have a motor,only owns a bicycle..haha..) We then took a cab to bedok..damn,it's a long journey.. At bedok,me and Bf waited for the shop to open.. When he saw the owner,Bf was totally thrilled to see him..haha.. He bought his stuffs,and off we go to ang mo kio again.. We decided to hangout at tampines after that..darn,we took the bus again..huhu.. Bf told he was feeling freaking hungry as we arrived at tampines.. Aww.. Pity him..hehe.. So,I accompany him to have his meal.. Around 530pm,we say goodbye to each other.. By the time,I let go of his hand,I miss him already.. =( After that,I went to my mum,sis and bro at vivocity because they're doing some shopping at that time.. As night falls,dad came to pick us up and we went to have our dinner at geylang.. I ate thai claypot rice...ooo la la..niceee..hehe.. Oh well..that's all for my update.. By the way,this is for my bestie,Zee,sorry I couldn't get to accompany u to watch movie.. I feel so bad though.. It's like when u wanna go out with me,there'll be many things that'll stop me.. I'm truly am sorry.. Insya'Allah,one day,I'll make it up to u k.. Sorry Zee.. =( ~END~ Labels: She's Lost Inside.. Avoid.. The Best Answer..
Time check:0152pmRain is pouring down heavily on the east side... Sadness occurs.. Hey,I know I've been posting about my emo moments and stuff,but I just couldn't help it.. This holiday is really bringing me down.. Sucks.. I kept thinking about the old memories and those fun moments that I had.. It really brought me to tears.. People told me,what for I'm having these stresses when I'm just rotting at home? To be honest,sitting at home sometimes can be far more worse.. Because my mum has no one to turn to except me.. When I see my mum brokedown,my heart goes out to her.. That's why I say,staying at home can be devastating too.. Not only that,I've just come to realise that many of my friends have been avoiding me.. I just don't know what's the reason for it.. Awhile ago,I say hello to one of my Gf,who I thought a friend I can count on to..but too bad,she did the same thing.. Gosh..I don't know what's going on.. Look,if u people think that there is something fucking wrong with me,just tell me straight up!! I thought I'm lucky to have such good friends around me,but no,it was all a bunch of lies.. LIES I'M TELLING YOU!!! Fuck those promises!! I hate it.. I keep telling people that I'll be there for them but will any of them be there for me? I don't think so.. As a human being,maybe I've made some mistakes but if u guys won't tell me what it is,how can I change into someone better? Whatever.. Nobody cares anyway.. But I'm still glad that there are still few of my friends,who really understood my situation.. Nevertheless,I can't keep whining to them about the same thing.. I'm scared they might get sick and tired of it... I gotta stop now.. I'm tearing up really bad.. Gonna wipe these tears before mum sees it.. ~END~ Labels: She's Lost Inside.. Alesana! Muse! Alesana! Muse!
I'm feeling so bored today..Seriously,super duper freaking bored..haha.. Didn't do much today.. Followed mum to the market.. Fold clothes.. Took a nap.. Watch cartoons.. Played the lappy.. Really mundane right?? Haha..oh well.. Been doing that during this holiday.. I need a life!! Huhu... By the way,my obssessions are coming back! Alesana and Muse are like in my head always! Shish! Their songs keep ringing in my ear and my mouth keep mumbling their lyrics.. Even my sis thinks that I'm going crazy now..haha.. Speaking of obssessions,my dear friend,Irah,is going obssessed with Muse too!! Hahaha... Yes!! Hi-5 beybeh!! Hehehe... Just now,at Facebook,I had a chat with her.. Not really that chat lah but just commenting on each other's wall..hehe.. Damn funny.. Go and read them: Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein ;da obssessed with muse againahahaha! weeeeeeee ♥ Haj Jemaid Really??Hahahahaha!! Yes!! I have a buddy to join my obssession!!Hehehe... xD Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein .ahaha, saper eyhnyeh hehh hehh Haj Jemaid hehehe..adelah orang tu...ape name dier?? irah eh??somesort mcm gitu ar..hahahaha!!!!! Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein ohhh SOMESORT ehhh!ahahaha!! kecohh weeeheee :D Haj Jemaid hahahahaha!!!!kecoh gila!! hehe...eh,my obssessions with alesana pun dtg alik!! huhu!!=P Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein woooooo~!ahahahahawait, since when did they ever leave ?? ahahahah! Haj Jemaid hahahaha..hmm..a'ah eh.. *thinking*teeheee...gosh i think im going nuts with these obssessions..irah!! tolong!! hehehe... Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein .nyeh heh heh gila2an sihhh!blom jmpe aku . ahahah Haj Jemaid hahaha..eh eh..klau jumpe kamu,habis lah singapura..confirm kite nye ketawe boleh dpt kan singapore tremors!!hehehehe... xDdont know when i can meet u lah sey.. =( Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein awwww nxt week? ahaha, coz i might be celebratinhg black christmas :D Haj Jemaid hahaha..macam mane leh black lak??hehehe... Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein ahaha we hate santa. he works all year round but nvr loses weight OH WAIT, it wasnt him , itx th elves . damn!so we celebrate a gothic christmas kirekan .. heh Haj Jemaid hahahaha..aiseyman..bagus tu..hehehe..its good to have a dark christmas once in awhile though..hehehe... Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein .oh yesso i hope yu cud join tho Haj Jemaid haha..ngok mcm mane k beybeh..maybe going out with mum..she wants to go shopping..huhu... Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein icic well if you could or whatever then tell me :D weeeeeeeeeee Haj Jemaid hehehe..insya'Allah k..hee..*hugs* Irawr Anethyl Xlyfein *hugx tight2* weehee Haj Jemaid woohoooo..weeee~~~♥ ♥ ♥ I had fun chatting with her.. Haha.. U made my day beybeh..hehe.. Well,got to go now.. Kinda tired..need some rest.. ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Alesana! Alesana!
~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Girls Day Out!
  Today,I went out with my Gfs.. At last! I get to have some time for myself! Huhu.. Actually,I asked Rina first,whether or not she want to watch a movie with me.. She agreed then she tell me to tag Faddy along.. Meeting time:1130am They came:1215pm -_-" I was frustrated at first..but when I saw Faddy's face,I just couldn't bear to be angry with her any longer..haha.. A few minutes after that,Rina then came.. We went to book the tickets for the movie,"New Moon".. Yeah yeah,I know most of u have watched it already.. So shh!! Hehe.. So the time for movie was 0340pm.. To kill the time,we went to have our lunch.. As we looked at our watches,it was still damn early.. We then hangout at the open plaza of tampines mall.. We make stupid jokes and sharing each other's favourite songs.. After that,we went to the toys 'r' us.. Damn funny..haha.. We started to take crazy photos of ourselves and played the toys there..hehe.. The time then told us it's time so we went off the cinema.. Overall,I had fun with my girls.. Thanks Rina & Faddy for your company today.. : ) But...too bad,Wati wasn't there with us.. Kinda miss her though.. Where are u girl? ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. You Have Abandoned Me..We Are Enemies Now..
~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Flashback To Darkness..
 How does it feel like walking in my shoes? How does it feel like knowing me than knowing you? Suddenly I felt black butterflies in my stomach, Something telling me not to be afraid and to follow their path.. I followed those voices.. Followed their instructions.. Went to close all the doors,and never let a single light in anymore.. Traumatize.. Shivers ran down my spine.. But the voices told me,it's going to be awhile.. Awhile in the darkness and away from the colours.. Colours in my room fades, Left only the smiles of the ghouls and the monsters on my bed.. They held their hands,trying to bring me closer, And then they whisper, "My dear child,soon you'll be part of us..part of this world".. My tears start to roll down on my cheeks.. I just couldn't believe this is happening.. I need to be out of here, And be out of this cruel world.. Suddenly,everything turns back to normal, Left only me sitting in the corner.. It felt like a dream or is it reality? I bust out in tears again, Hoping that those nightmares will end.....
~END~
Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Lethargic-ness Still Felt..
 I'm feeling a bit better today but not so..Still got some torn pieces left.. But I'm trying my best to recover from it though.. So,today,I get to meet my bestie! Hehe... Gosh.. At last I get to see her.. I think it's been months since I last saw her.. Haha.. Anyway,I messaged her when I was having my religion class.. I asked her if she wants to follow to the library for awhile.. And yeah,she agreed! Hehe.. Meeting time:0445pm.. She came at 515pm.. Dear Zee,luckily I didn't smack your face..hahaha.. Kiddings..hehe.. After that we went to tampines mall,just to roam around..haha.. Zee wanted to buy a necklace,but none of them catches her eyes.. Then we went to this game shop,and she told me she really want to buy PS3.. Because there are tons of games she wants to play..haha.. Zee.. Zee... One hour has passed,so I decided to go home.. Thanks Zee for the laughs and stupid jokes.. I really enjoyed my day.. : ) Oh well..now back at home,I'm feeling bored again.. Darn... Oh,by the way,to Irah,I listen to the song already.. It was a nice song.. I like..hehe.. Thanx beybeh.. Really appreciate it.. Hope to see u soon.. ; ) ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. I Want To Exorcise The Demons From Your Past..
 It's 0445pm right now and I'm staring blankly at my lappy..I just don't know what to do right now.. I'm feeling so freaking bored.. Texted with Twinny Huda just now for awhile,but then my mood changes.. So I told her I'll message her at night.. Sorry twinny.. Saying about Huda,actually,we're not that close at first.. We are good pals at school and I really like being friends with her.. But last week I think,Huda drop me a messaged,asking me whether or not I'll be going for the prom night at school.. That's when our conversation started to extend.. I told her that I wished we were closed like this before,and she told me the same thing too.. Darn..but I'm happy with our new friendship though.. My best twin ever..even she said,we really are like twins..haha.. Missing ya babe.. Well,I'm not only missing her,I'm also missing my old friend.. A friend that I looked up the most when I was feeling down.. But too bad,everything has ended.. He told he would come back,but don't know when.. At first,I waited..but then..I lose my hope on it.. In my heart saying,"I've lost another close friend again.." He will never know how much I miss him.. Those funny jokes that we had,it still rings in my head.. Well,I think he's happy without me.. Maybe I should be gone from his life too leaving those memories behind.. He may think it will be unfair,but I rather go missing.. Haiz... I really need a hug right now.... :'( ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Bang! Bang! You Shot Me Down..
 I'm telling u guys,my holiday is killing me..I'm not having fun at all...seriously.. I thought I could go out and have fun with my friends or even with boyfie,but then I still have to stay home.. Gosh!! Sometimes I would cry because of this!! I know it's such a lame thing to cry on but dude,I feel like I'm trapped.. Trapped with mixed feelings and emotions.. Once in awhile,I'm angry with my mum because she didn't let me go out.. But..sometimes I feel half-hearted to leave my mum alone at home... Confusing huh? Because I'm used to being around her and helping her with the chores,so if I leave her alone,I feel like I've abandoned my responsibility as a daughter.. That's why I said,I'm having mixed feelings.. Nevertheless,I wanna have a great time with my friends.. When I look at my friends' outing photos,jealousy took over me.. I keep saying this to myself,"Why can't I be like them?".. Yesterday night,I cried again before I went to bed.. I feel so pressurized by this thing.. Until now,I also haven't meet up with my bestie yet.. I miss her so much.. :( Darn...my heart is like torn into pieces right now.. What should I do? Oh,what should I do? ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Even If The Sky Is Falling Down..
Are you bored?-Yes..definitely.. Are your parents over proctective of you? -Hmm..somesort..yeah.. What is your favorite thing to do? -Just slacking with my doraemons..haha.. Where is your favorite place to hang with friends? -Not sure..we usually hangout at the esplanade.. Do you have a best friend? -Yup yup..I do.. If so, what is his/her name? -Nur Nazihah Binte Ismail.. =) Do you have more than one best friend? -I do! I do! If so, what are their names? -Azam..Irah..Wati..Feeza..Ella..Cara..Nurul.. ^ ^ Do you keep a diary or journal? -Not anymore..now my blog is my buddy! Hehe.. What's your most favorite song at the moment? -Down by Jay Sean..(Blame my friend,Feetz,for singing this song..) Who's your favorite singer/band? -Definitely ALESANA!! Huhu!! Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? -I do have a boyfie..hee.. If so what is their name? -Tan Siang Chuan :) If you were single, do you have a crush on someone? -Haha..I do!! Only certain of my friends knows who is he..haha.. Who's the best boyfriend/girlfriend you've ever had? -Of course,it's my rockstar.. ;) Do you still like him/her? -Not only like,I love him!! Are you listening to anything right now? -Yup.. Listening to a song right now.. If so, what? -Automatic by Tokio Hotel.. Nice song.. Where are you right now? -At home..durrhhh.. I bet you miss somebody right now? -Of course..missing too much.. :( Have you kissed anyone today? -Not someone..but something..my doraemon stuff toy..haha.. Was the last person to call you,male or female? -It was a male.. Who was it? -My good buddy,Hazman.. Why did they call you? -Gf problem..haha..pity him.. Have you ever kissed an ex after you two have broken up? -Ew! No! Do you still have feelings for any of your ex's? -Nopez..all the feelings has gone.. Do you trust any of your friends? -I do... Do you love music? -I'm a music lover beybeh!! Do you listen to it everyday? -Hell yeah I do.. Are you a jealous type of person? -Tell me,who doesn't? What color shirt are you wearing? -I'm wearing a black shirt.. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? -Bought it from penninsula.. Do you love the color pink? -Pink is GAY! Hahaha.. What's bothering you right now? -This Jay Sean song..it keeps ringing in my head.. Darn! =X ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. Shave me Down,Make Me Round.
I BOUGHT A NEW HEADPHONE!!!!!! Okie,random I know.. I'm feeling soo bored right now.. Bleah! -_-" Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. I'm Stuck In Time.Stuck On You.
 Sometimes I wonder...is our love true at all?We've been together for so long and yet I have doubted feelings about our love.. It's not that I don't trust u anymore,but the feeling just came.. When I read all those messages that u have given me in the past,I cried.. I really miss those times.. Where u will always be there for me,when I need a shoulder to cry on.. Where u will always say,"If u have any problems to share,u know I'm always here for u.." I've never been so tangled in love before.. But this time is different.. I really don't want to lose u.. I guess if that really happens,I might just be someone in the past again.. I don't want that to happen.. Been crying alot while thinking of u.. Because confusion strikes me.. I didn't want to bring up this issue again to u because I'm scared u might get bored with it.. Sis' fiance told me that we'll not be together for long.. To tell u the truth,I'm kinda hurt by it.. He don't know how much I love u... How much u mean to me.. I just ignore their comments and and try not to think anything negative by then.. I just hope we are like last time.. Feeling the love and filled each other's heart with happiness.. Hopefully,u'll understand how much I really adore u... :'( ~END~ Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. We Came.We Learn.We've Grown.
 So this is it.. The end of school days..Damn sad lah sey!! Boo hoo... Actually I wanna update about this last friday,but my mood wasn't there..bleah! Many memories has been created during these two years.. Tears of joy,tears of sadness comes and go.. We had our flaws but still we managed to have the love for each other.. Sometimes,we get into each other's nerves,but no matter what,we are still a team.. JRO8O4D..gonna miss you guys.. *Sob sob* Hope we can see each other again soon.. PS:Gonna dedicate this part to my late aunt who has just passed away recently,on 31/11/09.. It's such a tragic thing to happen.. But nevertheless,we hope Allah will bless your soul and we'll always miss your presence.. Dear Mak Mok.. We love you.. :'( Labels: (I Just)Died In Your Arms.. |
