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Random Awesome.
Hajar is the name. A MuslimI am,and proud of it. I choose not to deny my humanity but embrace it. I'm weird but approachable. I don't believe in karma but I believe in Qada & Qadar. ♥A nurse,who will always try to satisfy the hearts of her patients. |
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Rocket.
A blog with full of nonsense.(: Deeper Conversation.
Escape.
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Let Us Have Our Moment,Love.... Today,the work was also draggy.... My team was like the most busiest one sey...I think.... Very tiring.... I guess today was not our day for the morning shift people... I mean everything was like rushing here and there.... Emotions started to raise up in the ward... My friends brokedown as they can't really take the pressure.... I pity them... Hopefully their day will be better tomorrow....infact,for all of us... But,after that,my tension was all gone after I finish work... Because....I get to meet my dearest!! Hehe.... Really miss him alot....I can't stop hugging him just now...hee... I also passed him,his birthday present...well,an advance one....keke... His birthday is next week actually,but I just give him the present first because I'm afraid we might not get to meet each other on his birthday itself.... Want to know what I bought for him?? Well...just a normal shirt from OP....haha.... But I love the design...that's why I bought it.....hee... And attached to it,there's this cardboard paper,I design our name on it... That's for our anniversary....heee.... Trying to be romantic?? Nah..... I heart him so much that's why.... =) Oh well... That was just about it.... Got to go now.... Tomorrow morning shift again....shish!! ~END~ Labels: Adoring u always.... Gah!! What's Wrong With Today??!! Overall,work sucks.... I don't know why today it was like so crap and draggy...urgh!! Everything was in a mess...like seriously... My team have 5 NGT feedings need to be done...5 i'm telling u!! But one thing,in order to feed these patients,we must have at least one of the staff to be there with us...that was kind of bothering... In the end,most of us did the feeding by not closing the curtains..just to let them see us... Okay,now,let's get to what's really bothers me today... Last week,a complained was raised in that ward... It was just a small matter,well,to me it is and this thing gets bigger... A relative complained that she doesn't trust us,the nursing students,to assist her mum... From that day onwards,she don't want us to touch her mum anymore... I was shocked at first...I was unsure of what wrong we have done.... Wanna know why the relative did that?? Cause she said there are too many of us,in one cubicle... Many,as in,why the hell the four of us must be in there together?? That must be her question.. I mean,I know,I don't want to be rude,but she can just tell us personally right?? She can just pull us to one corner,and tell us nicely..that I'll accept... But no,she did this bloody thing and now she's making me feel guilty... So,today,my lecturer called me and my friend,to talk about this problem.... She asked if we did any gossips while the four of us were in there together... Of course not!! Why would we do that???? My friends were just merely helping me out.... I'm sorry if I'm being too sensitive but I'm just letting out a confession... I know my lecturer meant well,she wants us to enjoy our posting and not having this suck up stories...(thanks teacher..), But I was kinda frustrated about it.... Why must this thing be drag until now?? God......it really test my patience.... But I hope this crap ends soon and I don't want any of the staffs to lose faith in us..... It takes quite a long time to earn their trust,I don't want it to be destroyed... Oh,ya,one more thing... I want to shout out this part to this one irritating faggot.. Hey fag,if u don't like my attitude,then so be it... I was just saying the truth and yet u told me off... What the f***!!!! And u said u want to delete me from your friends list..then so be it!!! I lose alot of friends already,so,if u want to be the next one,be my guest.... Whatever...you're just a plain suck up.... Grow up!!! Aaaarggghhhh!!!!!!! Dear God..... I need my strength back.... ~END~ Labels: Let me apologised why I'm still alive... I'm Screaming I Love You So.... Are you ghostly white? -Nope,I'm not...I wish I am....haha... Are you constantly reminded of something everyday? -Yeah...to check my handphone every hour...huhu... Do you use any cleansers for your face? -Yup yup... Ever fall out of a tree house? -I've never went into a tree house before.. Do you like what you see in the mirror? -Erm...my hair?? Do you like boiled eggs? -I LOVE THEM!! Did you/do you like giving presentations in school? -Obviously no.....I'll get stage fright... Is there someone you know that whines too much? -Well.....there is..... Is there someone so fake that it makes you sick? -Yeah...sometimes... When and why was the last time you felt ashamed of yourself? -When I started to be clumsy here and there...shish! Would you say you learn something new everyday? -Yup...I can say that... Do you enjoy the simple things in life? -Yes I do.... Are you hard to please? -Hmm....am I?? Have any makeup from Avon? -No...I don't wear makeups.... Is the best still yet to come? -Hopefully so... Do you say what you mean? -I do say what I mean... Would you stay forever if your significant other asked? -If we are meant together,then why not?? Do you feel lost without someone? -Yea.....I do... Do you have a lot of issues in your life? -Alot of it...but I'm trying my best to keep up with the pace.... ~END~ Labels: Tired and Uninspired.... In A Perfect World,This Could Never Happen... It happens again.... The awkwardness between us.... I don't want to think anything negative but I'm just scared.... Scared that I might lose you..... I understand what you're going through....it's hard to be in your situation... I know you're feeling hurt inside,I can see it from your eyes everytime we meet each other... When I see u that way,I feel like hugging u tightly,whisper some encouragement words at your ear... But,i'm afraid that u might just breakdown infront of me like u did last time... It hurts seeing u like this.... I'm sorry if I'm being too sensitive... I didn't mean it..... I think I'm being too selfish already....or not?? Unsure feeling... It's just that I miss the old us....those fine days.... A friend shared with me,what has happen to her relationship... After hearing her story,fear strucks my heart... Many questions runs into my head.... Are we going to be like that?? Is there any possibilities?? I was confused.... But I try to let go of that feeling...that unwanted feeling.... Tonight,u apologised about your behaviour recently.... To tell u the truth,I cried after reading it.... I don't know if I should kept quiet or reply your message... As I didn't want to make the situation worse,and burden you more,I continue to reply... I forgive you my dear.... I do.... I really do..... I know I should understand u more,but sometimes I just think I didn't make your day even better... Or I'm not good enough for u.... I don't know..... I'm sorry sweetheart.... It's just a confession.... Maybe we need time to talk about us again.... Till then................ ~END~ Labels: Could I? Should I? My Eyeliners Has Been Smuged By These Tears... Everyday...the same words keep coming out from her mouth... "Tsk,tsk,tsk...hajar...u really need to buck up..." I was terrified.... I just don't know why I keep slacking these few days....it sucks... Sometimes the inspiration started to fade away....it's unexplainable... It's not that I want it to be this way,it's just so hard... My mind can't focus and I can't sleep well... I've even wished that I would just faint infront of her and get admitted,or, suddenly I become a lunatic,screaming here and there.... I know u guys would say,"What the hell are u thinking girl??", I'm already at my wit's end to be honest... The one thing I'm angry of is that,I can tell people to saty strong but I can't tell myself that... What's happening to me?? Now,I keep struggling with my weakness...hate it... There's this one night,where I nearly go back to my old self... I was desperately needing something to calm myself down.. But as I became conscious again,I shake that stupid feeling off me... I don't want it to happen again.... But I'm really thankful to all of my friends who have really given me great encouragements.. I really appreciate it... I think without u guys,I would have just killed myself slowly.... Thanks alot friends.... ~END~ Labels: I'm drowning in sorrows...Let me hear your voice...Save my soul...Please.. Yayness & Sadness.... I know....it's been a long time since I last updated it...So,yea,let's start... First of all,I would like to say congrats to my cousin,Sharifah Salwa, on her engagement today...Hope the relationship will last till marriage ya... Insya-allah.... This week has been a bore for me....My shifts were also jumbled up here and there.. And I keep feeling sleepy these days....Feel like going on marathon while I was working.. Busy,busy,busy...gah!! And somemore,I have to keep up with my nursing skills,if not the axe would be for me... Today,to be honest,I feel like an outcast....like seriously...I don't know why... Sat at the corner like a dumb kid.... I think because I'm just diferrent from my other cousins... They were like talking among ourselves and there was I,transparent... I don't know if I'm being too sensitive,but it's just something I want to let out... Haiz....oh well.... Msn sucks...I hate it....(Random,I know) It's been a few days,this song is stuck in my head.... The rythm of it,always makes me melt.... And somemore,the lyrics are nice...I like.... The song also reminded me of him.... Luckily,he doesn't really understand our language,if not,I'll let him listen to it.... So,people,here's the video.... Hope u guys like the song too..... I got to go..... I wanna have an early night..... ~END~ Resah yang ku ubah dalam kata Melukiskan kesunyian Tanpa engkau aku tak mengerti Meski pagi itu indah Tapi akan sunyi tanpamu Menemani aku sepi Tanpa... Cintamu aku resah Tanpa... Kasihmu aku hampa Tanpa.... Dirimu aku mati Kini berat benar kurasakan Dalam relung hatiku tak temu Aku tak mengerti Takut aku jauh dari dirimu Dan kau tinggalkan aku sendiri Tanpamu ku mati Labels: Mourning:Sleepless Nights.... Hugs And More Hugs...How I Miss Them.... To Fadhilah and Rina,nice meeting u girls today!!! Miss the both of u lots!!! Too bad,Wati,is not around....gah!!! Never mind,16 more days to go!!! =) Labels: Counting down..... Oh So Pathetic..... I freakingly miss Surgical,feeling awkward at Medical.... And to the superior,I'm sorry if Im not being a better student..... I know I keep lacking behind.....Im sorry........ Labels: Who I am hates who I've been...... New Cut,New Look,New Me?? Hmmm..... Everything was in a mess these few days....I wasn't myself.... As I lay flat on my bed,my mind started to wander off....after that,I fell into a dead sleep... Work was hectic...Had to run here and there just to satisfy their needs.... But luckily,I work with the most craziest people around...it was fun....hee... Most of them were shocked that I had a haircut... (That's right people,I cut my hair...haha..) Was sick and tired styling it,so yea,snap!! There's this one EN of mine...while we were doing changing,she ask why I cut my hair... So I answered her question... Then wanna know what she said,"But it's pretty,u look more like a girl now.." I was laughing my heart out,so I asked,"So that means I dont look girlish all this while??" "Ya..u look so tomboy before this..."she said. Hehe...most of them said that... But,what the hell...thanks for the compliment ladies!! This coming monday,me and my friends will be working at another ward..a women's ward.. Gah!! I don't know how is it gonna be.... Like all this while,been taking care of men,and now women?? Hopefully everything goes well.... I sooo gonna miss this surgical ward....boo.... Well,got to go.. Now wanna chat with my two best budds,Zee & Syazi!! Miss them alot....haha... ~END~ Labels: and I miss u too.... |